The big SkyBlue funbus.

I don't have much time to be all that witty at the moment, so I won't then. Instead I'll just show a snap of my ride around town/the beach/drive-thru botox clinic.

Just to make my little babby bro Fathead jealous, I'll mention that she's a 1967 Jeepster Commando (C101) with 3.7L automatic Buick V6 engine, 190hp. And she boots it. Though she doesn't quite match the performance and charisma of the late 90's model Skoda Octavia, it's a sweet little head turner nonetheless.

Miss Senior America

I'm still starstruck by this once in a lifetime event - spotting Miss Senior America taking a stroll down Main St in broad daylight. This veteran of the catwalk surely knew how to play the crowd, giving us the occasional tune and jig as she shamelessly flaunted her latest CD release. Fair play sure.

Happy times at the Kentucky Derby

Later Friday afternoon, we went out on the balcony of the press box and I tried to describe the difference between what we were seeing today and what would be happening tomorrow. This was the first time I'd been to a Derby in ten years, but before that, when I lived in Louisville, I used to go every year. Now, looking down from the press box, I pointed to the huge grassy meadow enclosed by the track. "That whole thing," I said, "will be jammed with people; fifty thousand or so, and most of them staggering drunk. It's a fantastic scene--thousands of people fainting, crying, copulating, trampling each other and fighting with broken whiskey bottles. We'll have to spend some time out there, but it's hard to move around, too many bodies."

"Is it safe out there?" Will we ever come back?"

"Sure," I said. "We'll just have to be careful not to step on anybody's stomach and start a fight." I shrugged. "Hell, this clubhouse scene right below us will be almost as bad as the infield. Thousands of raving, stumbling drunks, getting angrier and angrier as they lose more and more money. By midafternoon they'll be guzzling mint juleps with both hands and vomitting on each other between races. The whole place will be jammed with bodies, shoulder to shoulder. It's hard to move around. The aisles will be slick with vomit; people falling down and grabbing at your legs to keep from being stomped. Drunks pissing on themselves in the betting lines. Dropping handfuls of money and fighting to stoop over and pick it up."

*********************

One of the key genetic rules in breeding dogs, horses or any other kind of thoroughbred is that close inbreeding tends to magnify the weak points in a bloodline as well as the strong points. In horse breeding, for instance, there is a definite risk in breeding two fast horses who are both a little crazy. The offspring will likely be very fast and also very crazy. So the trick in breeding thoroughbreds is to retain the good traits and filter out the bad. But the breeding of humans is not so wisely supervised, particularly in a narrow Southern society where the closest kind of inbreeding is not only stylish and acceptable, but far more convenient--to the parents--than setting their offspring free to find their own mates, for their own reasons and in their own ways. ("Goddam, did you hear about Smitty's daughter? She went crazy in Boston last week and married a nigger!")

**********

Magical stuff, some of MrHunter S. Thompson's first printed work The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved.

checkitalloutat http://www.derbypost.com/hunter.html

Post Script

If anybody is overly concerned with the levels of cynicism on this page: don't worry. I'm sure The Steve will post something in the nearish future and it'll smell of puppy-scented roses. And hopefully won't insult.
Ah sure, I'm only having a laugh anyway. Begorrah.

Above is the Steve at the helm of his 22ft Bayliner cruiser, which he has unselfishly decided to maintain for the summer.

She's moored just off our pretty little workplace Hyannis Yacht Club, which also doubles as a complimentary tanning salon for 8hrs a day. Oh my.

Happy America Day!!!

Happy America Day!!! What a wonderful day chock-full of nonsensical "patriotism"! I must say we all had a hoot.
God bless the USA, vietnam vets, the marine reserves, marching sousaphone bands, the forest fire department, Bob & Tim: The Patio Pro's, the civil war/pirate invasion re-inactment group, Helen's Flowers, Cool FM, the Barnstable Community Police Cycle Patrol and the Barnstable Middle-High Hip Hop dance group, all of whom partook in a high spirited, under-rehearsed and adequately executed Parade on Main St today. Never before have I felt so proud to rapturously applaud such a mediocre effort. My heart goes out to all you guys.



Barnstable High Hip Hop group.


Star Spangled Banner rendition. ('Tis a grand Old Flag).
Party On.

broom broom

Rightio. I'm just gonna throw up a few more spare pictographs I have lying around. One might begin to notice that the vast majority of the subjects are elderly folk caught unawares. They just can't chase that fast..

.....

HELPFUL HINTS FOR MOTHERS #1: You can probably click on any pic to enlarge it. (A new window opens, showing just the desired pic. Hover your cursor over the picture for 1 second. The button shown below should appear. Click it. Voila. The original snapshot in all its glory. Italicised words will be explained on a later date.)Yes, that button.

.....

Numero Uno

So they first day of employment hath begun and The Steve has finally arrived. He has also forgotten to bring with him the Sudocrem - a big no no. Got some picatures back from the Great Chrome and Tinfoil display of 2006, with some nice looking carbon guzzlers. More please-ed with the sly shots of random greasy moustachioed spanner monkey on the streets though. All will be revealed in due course.

Just couldn't let this one go. Had to snap it. Had to. Loadsa great more wierdos to come once I minimise them etc. oink (and more geek noises).

Ok one more cruel one. This kinda reminds me of a Fatboy Slim album cover, if anyone can cast their minds back to the late 90's, Baby.

If anyones not that fond of My Dry Wry street pictographs, here's a typical car show chrome special. Not much fun though. More boring fancy schmantzy pics are at POC on the side column.

Haaappy Faathez daay!

Haappy Fathe's Day, Paw!
Good day so far, spent a number of hours lookin' at classic cars at the annual Cape Cod Fathers Day Classic CarRally. Some real beauts there. Will post pics during the week once I've developed and scanned them (how 90's, I know. But like, whatever).

Two old timers eating sunny side overs at the Egg and I diner earlier:
".....Ya know they got a real big city problem down there. I mean like pulling the ears off a panda bears and that. Ya its real trouble. ...."

I have since decided to stop dropping in and out of conversations in this town.

Dunkin', morbidly obese and happy

"And that there was an interesting take on the tune Getting Hit With The Lickin' Stick which of course brings back memories of fathers for a lot of listeners out there..." - Line from the presenter of the Father's Day Show on the local Cape Cod radio channel. Life is good.

I'm here just one day and I have come to a number of sound but striking conclusions. Primarily this: I think, revise and summise my thoughts, then speak. In that order. Here however, folk just talk. No other steps involved.

An example - as I lay on a rather crowded plot of sand at Craigsville beach I was subject to three different shouting sessions (considered as conversations) which went along these lines:

+++++++++++++++

(Bahstan accent).

- So then I checked my bill and it came to like 68 dallahs which I thaat was a little bit interesting cause I wasn't like expectin that. So I checked it up. Tuns out the netwuhk company chaa'ged like 48 bucks for they'uh fee.

- So that was like the Italian company chaa'gin you fuh like roamin chaa'ges?

- No I checked. It was thephon company hea'h.

- And what about in like Italy? Wuh'int you in Italy?

- Yeah that's whea I wus, Italy, but I wus like...

.......

(Sophomore college kids, middle income, not too badly off)

- Ya know, we should like try it in the pool sometime.

- In the poooil?

- Yea. In the pool.

- Naw. Water is like bad.

- What?

- Water is like bad for you. The water is like you know thinner and uh you know it kind of flows easy and you know does all sorts a stuff and....

++++++

(NY accent, hard case, trying to impress the middle class "ladies" he's with.

- Yea, everybody tinks dat Greece is so fuckin great when day get ova thea'h. But you know its not you know? I mean when you get into a like cab and they's like speaking all local to you an you tink like aint dat nice an all but really they'uh like saying hey you fuckin stoopid toorists why doncha get outta my country ya know? Like fuck. Ya know I was ovuh thea and we wus walking by these nice cliffs like these really nice cliffs and we was jus walkin an they wes really high so we walked back from em and we like walked past like someoned yahd cos of it and then they was these like two kids shouting "Hey you fuckin Americans you stoopid fuckin Americans get out of owa country" Like ya know? An then the like granma of the kids says like "hey is alright they'uh my friends dont shout" and I was like can you believe it? What da fuck? Im not you'uh fuckin friend. You'uh telling me to get the fuck out now you'uh my fuckin friend? No fuckin way...

.......

- So then my other company was like chaaa'gin like 7 dallahs a day. Which when I added it up was a lot cheepuh then. I think.

- But weren't you like payin like 28 bucks fuh line rental? Or wus that with da Italian company?

- Hey maybe you'uh right. If I add that ahn it's like a little mo'uh expensive. But that cost wan't with the Italian company an'.....

..........

- Hey I got like a cahndam stuck inside me once.

- You got a whut!

- Yeah I gat I cahndam stuck inside me once for like a while.

- Like fo how long?

- Like for a whole day.

- Wow (laughs) really? A whole day.

- Yea it wus pretty weird. An like (laughs) Stacey said she'd like go in an get it out fuh me!

- She wut!

_ Yeah!

- Huh! No that a good friend. You got a good friend right there!

-Yeah! Huh?

- Yeah. Thats a real good friend.

- Ya a know. Stacey's like....a real good friend. Ya know!

- Ya.

.....- And then like Lucy was there an she was like "hey I'll pick you up an shake it out" an

- She'd wut! Shed like pick you up!

- well Lucys like a big girl ya know. So she pickt me up an she she started like shakin me an..

- (laughs)

- an then like Marsha walks in an she like sees Lucy like swinging me around sayin "hey, come ahn out! Come ahn you cahndam!" An Marsha is like soo what goiun ahn?

-(laughs)

- an Lucy's like swingin me round and saying like "spread those legs girl, Come ahn, spread um" an I laughin so hard..

- Are you naked

- No...