Dunkin', morbidly obese and happy

"And that there was an interesting take on the tune Getting Hit With The Lickin' Stick which of course brings back memories of fathers for a lot of listeners out there..." - Line from the presenter of the Father's Day Show on the local Cape Cod radio channel. Life is good.

I'm here just one day and I have come to a number of sound but striking conclusions. Primarily this: I think, revise and summise my thoughts, then speak. In that order. Here however, folk just talk. No other steps involved.

An example - as I lay on a rather crowded plot of sand at Craigsville beach I was subject to three different shouting sessions (considered as conversations) which went along these lines:

+++++++++++++++

(Bahstan accent).

- So then I checked my bill and it came to like 68 dallahs which I thaat was a little bit interesting cause I wasn't like expectin that. So I checked it up. Tuns out the netwuhk company chaa'ged like 48 bucks for they'uh fee.

- So that was like the Italian company chaa'gin you fuh like roamin chaa'ges?

- No I checked. It was thephon company hea'h.

- And what about in like Italy? Wuh'int you in Italy?

- Yeah that's whea I wus, Italy, but I wus like...

.......

(Sophomore college kids, middle income, not too badly off)

- Ya know, we should like try it in the pool sometime.

- In the poooil?

- Yea. In the pool.

- Naw. Water is like bad.

- What?

- Water is like bad for you. The water is like you know thinner and uh you know it kind of flows easy and you know does all sorts a stuff and....

++++++

(NY accent, hard case, trying to impress the middle class "ladies" he's with.

- Yea, everybody tinks dat Greece is so fuckin great when day get ova thea'h. But you know its not you know? I mean when you get into a like cab and they's like speaking all local to you an you tink like aint dat nice an all but really they'uh like saying hey you fuckin stoopid toorists why doncha get outta my country ya know? Like fuck. Ya know I was ovuh thea and we wus walking by these nice cliffs like these really nice cliffs and we was jus walkin an they wes really high so we walked back from em and we like walked past like someoned yahd cos of it and then they was these like two kids shouting "Hey you fuckin Americans you stoopid fuckin Americans get out of owa country" Like ya know? An then the like granma of the kids says like "hey is alright they'uh my friends dont shout" and I was like can you believe it? What da fuck? Im not you'uh fuckin friend. You'uh telling me to get the fuck out now you'uh my fuckin friend? No fuckin way...

.......

- So then my other company was like chaaa'gin like 7 dallahs a day. Which when I added it up was a lot cheepuh then. I think.

- But weren't you like payin like 28 bucks fuh line rental? Or wus that with da Italian company?

- Hey maybe you'uh right. If I add that ahn it's like a little mo'uh expensive. But that cost wan't with the Italian company an'.....

..........

- Hey I got like a cahndam stuck inside me once.

- You got a whut!

- Yeah I gat I cahndam stuck inside me once for like a while.

- Like fo how long?

- Like for a whole day.

- Wow (laughs) really? A whole day.

- Yea it wus pretty weird. An like (laughs) Stacey said she'd like go in an get it out fuh me!

- She wut!

_ Yeah!

- Huh! No that a good friend. You got a good friend right there!

-Yeah! Huh?

- Yeah. Thats a real good friend.

- Ya a know. Stacey's like....a real good friend. Ya know!

- Ya.

.....- And then like Lucy was there an she was like "hey I'll pick you up an shake it out" an

- She'd wut! Shed like pick you up!

- well Lucys like a big girl ya know. So she pickt me up an she she started like shakin me an..

- (laughs)

- an then like Marsha walks in an she like sees Lucy like swinging me around sayin "hey, come ahn out! Come ahn you cahndam!" An Marsha is like soo what goiun ahn?

-(laughs)

- an Lucy's like swingin me round and saying like "spread those legs girl, Come ahn, spread um" an I laughin so hard..

- Are you naked

- No...